It was an uncomfortably humid summer morning, another one in a long string of very hot days. The school was out and I should have been having the time of my life. However, as the faith would have it, Jackie was yet again grounded for being stupid and breaking her curfew, Hanna and Katie were on holidays with their parents and I was left here all alone. Alone and bored out of my wits. No doubt Hanna and Katie were to return in a week with incredible stories of wild flirting and necking with exotic, wild and handsome foreigners.
In the worst-case scenario, the boys would embody all of the above.
Hanna had had sex before with her boyfriend Keith, which seemed to have opened the door to a flood of sexual exploration to which every teenager is prone by nature. However, I always had a feeling that most of what she told us was going on between her and the boys in school were lies. Shy and always proper Hanna was hard to imagine as this wild love goddess, as she liked to portray herself after she has had a couple of drinks.
Katie was seriously considering giving her virginity to her now boyfriend Simon, but wasn't too sure if she was ready yet. She hadn't been sure for over a year, and unbeknownst to her or any of the other girls in our little group, Simon had cornered me in the bathroom at Katie's birthday party a few weeks ago, kissing me and thrusting his tongue down my throat, grabbing my breasts and squeezing them as if he tried to milk the life out of me.
It felt good, and of course it was very naughty, but that is as far as it went. Days following this little escapade, I was mortified that Katie and Simon would have a fight, no doubt regarding her unwillingness to "go all the way", and Simon would have blurted out what had happened between us.
But so far, so good. Katie never said anything, which I could not imagine would have been the case had she even suspected something had happened between her boyfriend and me.
Simon on the other hand, always seemed to be too busy to even acknowledge me any longer when I was around. That was fine with me. I did think Simon was kind of cute, but Katie was one of my best friends and I didn't want to lose her over something this trivial and immature.
Jackie on the other hand was a completely different story. I loved her as a sister, but even I had to admit that she was nothing more than a tart.
I have seen her with my own eyes, leaning against the wall in the alley behind our house, Craig's hand thrust up her skirt, moving back and forth wildly, all the while kissing her as if she was the only source of oxygen on earth. According to her, he was only one of approximately ten boys that she had slept with since losing her virginity a year ago. She claimed she had lost the count already.
And truth to be told, Craig was not the type of person one would brag of messing around with. Crude and nasty looking, he was every mother's and most girls' nightmare come to life. Jackie was one of those girls, who were headed for early motherhood, washed out by the age of thirty, ending up with some loser because everybody else had had her in the bushes and didn't want her in their home.
And that left me.
Good old Sam, a virgin with no prospects of being rid of this most annoying stigma in sight. I had no boyfriend and wasn't about to open myself to just anybody's prying hands. And cocks, of course. So, here I was, sprawled on the lawn chair, sponging up the sun, working on my already perfect tan, feeling dizzy from the heat and too lazy to get up and get a drink, even though I was thirsty enough to drink straight out of the little muddy pond at the bottom of the garden.
My little sister was blessedly absent, spending holiday with my Dad's new family somewhere in Wales, and my mom worked mornings and evenings at the local pub. She would only come home in the afternoon to take a bath, a nap and if her toy-boy was around a quickie. And of course, to either ignore or aggravate me. I had to admit that for forty-year-old woman, my mum looked pretty good. She kept her figure and spent most of what she earned on clothes.
She had a string of boyfriends since she divorced dad three years ago, most of them younger then her, which always embarrassed me in front of people. I could always see our neighbors nudging each other as she was walking out of the house proudly, on the hand of someone who could almost be her own son.
In my eyes, my mum was not much better from Jackie. This virginity business weighed heavily on my mind. The summer heat seemed to add to my predicament, as I would get turned on at most unexpected and inconvenient times. Sometimes, I found myself sitting at the bottom of the stairs that led to my mother's bedroom on the second floor, listening to the sounds of lovemaking, her screams and cries, her boyfriends' grunts and dirty talk.
Often, in bed at night, I would be reminiscing of what I had heard earlier in the day and my hand would slip down my knickers, rubbing wildly against the bud of my sexuality, but very disappointedly, I never seemed to have reached the ecstasy that Jackie was talking about. Little pleasures that I gave myself did not compare to the grandiose fulfillments of her sex life. In my ripe, eighteen-year-old mind I had already given up hope on ever reaching this level of pleasure.
Most of my friends have been way ahead of me in the love department. I would stay a virgin forever. Everybody would know this and I'd be a laughing stock at school. My mother's active sexual life most certainly did not help my frustration. I heard the front door slam and a deep sigh escaped me. It was too early for my mum to be back, which meant that her current boyfriend Neil must have stopped by during lunch hour.
He was younger than my mum, in his late twenties, always creeping around the house at most unexpected times.
He was a construction worker and his body was nice and strong, I had to admit that much. Otherwise, he was just an ordinary guy, with greasy black hair and dark, almost devilish eyes, giving me chills every time he looked at me.
Of late, I noticed that he hung around me more and more, brushing against me when I stood in the kitchen making tea, or reaching over me to get something out of a cupboard. My mum never seemed to notice, though. She was oblivious to the world most of the time anyway, a consequence of constant drinking, I suppose.
Knowing that Neil was in the house and will probably see me lying in the garden, left me torn between packing up and going to my room or staying out here. I decided I would stay where I was.
After all, this was more my home than his. I reached under the lawn chair and pulled out a bottle of sun oil, beginning to apply more grease on my already glistening skin. Then, I closed my eyes and hoped that he would leave at any given moment. Although, thinking back now, I'm not so certain that was what I had hoping for anymore.
After a few minutes, the kitchen window, which was facing the garden opened up and through my half-closed eyes I saw Neil's head popping out. "Oy!" he shouted and the annoyance that had been simmering inside me since I heard him enter the house shot up to the boiling point. He could be such a lummox. I ignored him, pretending to nap. "Oy, Sam!" he wouldn't be swayed and I opened my eyes.
"What?" I asked rudely, hoping he wasn't coming out into the garden. "I made some lemonade, you must be hot." He said and despite my wish that he would just leave, the thought of a cool drink was very inviting.
As if sensing my indecision, he dangled a tall glass of yellowy liquid out the window and I could hear the clinging noise made by ice cubes floating on top. "You want some?" he asked, looking at me intently.
I was very aware of the skimpy little bikini that I was wearing.
I never thought much of myself, but whenever I caught lusty look that Neil did not try to concede when looking at me, I imagined he compared me with my mum, and the comparison was not disappointing. I didn't want him to look at me half naked anymore. "Yeah, alright," I said. "I'll be right up." I stood up and bent over to pick up the huge gauze scarf that I used as a long skirt sometimes, which also served as a mini dress when wrapped around my body.
The thought of Neil looking at my bum while I was bending made me straighten up on a double. I wrapped the scarf around me, tying it in a knot just above my boobs. I turned around and looked up into the kitchen window and could see Neil still staring at me.
I entered the back door and was temporarily blinded by the darkness of the house. The strength of the heat made me slightly woozy and I climbed the stairs to the first floor holding onto the wall with one hand and clutching the railing with the other. By the time I reached the top of the stairs, the wooziness went away and I was grateful for the coolness of the house. Neil was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching an episode of Neighbours.
That fact alone made me roll my eyes and want to leave the room. When he heard me, he turned around and patted the empty seat on the couch next to him. The glass of lemonade was sweating on the coffee table by the couch. I will never know what made me sit next to him, but I plopped down on the couch, letting my weight pull me down, and sighing deeply.
I was pleasantly tired, the heat taking its toll. Very prissily, I pulled the scarf over my legs, as if just remembering that I was half naked. Neil looked at my hands as I did this and smiled. He looked at me and for the first time I saw that his dark eyes were quite pretty. Not devilish at all. I smiled back and turned my attention to the TV. After a few seconds, when he didn't look away from me, I giggled: "What are you staring at?" I asked, very aware of the dangerous waters that I was entering.
"You're very pretty, you know?" he said. "You're disgusting!" I responded and the giggling sensation was gone. I didn't feel amused anymore. I felt something else. Oddly appealing, but also uncomfortable, I felt a stirring inside my stomach, reaching further down between my legs. I was getting turned on! "No, I'm not!" he didn't protest really.
It was just a statement. "You don't think I'm disgusting, you're just jealous." "Of what?" Now, I was really bewildered. "Jealous of you? Don't make me laugh!" He nodded.
"I know that you sit on the stairs sometimes, listening to your mum and me." He caught me off guard completely. I blushed and my eyes must have been the size of teacup saucers. "Of course I don't!" my voice was unnaturally high-pitched. "Yes, you do." He said and his hand brushed his thigh as if flicking off invisible crumbs.
"I heard you. More than once." This was the biggest embarrassment of my entire life. At this point, I understood the saying of hoping to be swallowed by the earth. His hand left his thigh and reached over to me. Ever so gently, he pinched the corner of my scarf and let it fall off my leg, clearly exposing my oiled, tanned thigh and a part of my tiny dark green bikini with big polka dots the color of lime. "Aren't you a bit too old for this?" he snickered, I believe in reference to the pattern.
I should have jumped up. I should have hit him and screamed. But, I didn't. I giggled instead and kept my eyes on his hand that was now smearing the suntan oil deeper into my skin.
I couldn't bear to look at his face. "What are you doing?" I asked and this time my voice came out hoarse. "This is what you want, isn't it?" he asked, squeezing my thigh lightly. I shook my head no, yet still didn't move. His hand traveled all the way to my knee, circled around it and came back up the thigh, touching my bikini. "Are you sure?" he asked and I shook my head again. He bent over and lightly kissed me on the lips, at the same time his finger slipped under the elastic of my bikini and expertly found its way between my legs.
It landed on my little bud, which was so familiar to my fingers. I quietly thanked the higher power to give me enough sense to shave the night before. The feel of someone else's fingers on it was quite different, however. I gasped, my mind racing between the sensation of his tongue rubbing against mine and his finger pushing on my clitty. I spread my legs a little and kissed him back hungrily. His kiss intensified and now his entire hand slipped inside my bikini and covered my pussy.
Suddenly, a sobering taught of my mother blasted my mind and I tried to jump up. "We can't do this," I said, breathing shallowly. "Just a little bit," he said, his body keeping me from getting off the couch. "No one needs to know, right?" I gave in to his kiss again and his hand pressed against my crotch, pushing down on my clitty, sending a shot of pleasure inside my tummy. He massaged between my legs for a few moments and then all of a sudden pulled his lips off mine, his hand out of my bikini and slid onto the floor, kneeling in front of me.
Gently, he reached for my bikini bottom and started pulling it off. I tried to protest but he just leaned over me again, kissing me deeply, while his strong hands continued tugging on the little piece of garment. When he slipped it off my arse, he straightened into a kneeling position again, pulled the bikini all the way down my thighs, over the knees and off my ankles; all the while he was looking straight into my eyes. This time, I looked back.
Small grin on his face seemed to fire me up even more and I could feel the wetness between my legs. I was torn between bursting out laughing and trying to concentrate on his movements.
Now, he grabbed under my knees and pulled me towards him, so that my upper body was lying flat on the couch seat, my head uncomfortably leaning against the propped up cushion, my arse half-off the couch altogether. He spread my legs and pushed his face between them.
I could feel his fingers prying between pussy lips, opening them and then, I felt the heavenly feeling of a tongue rubbing against my clitty.
The feeling of pleasure so foreign and yet so familiar. I moaned and for a moment taught of my mum again, but Neil's tongue pressed against my clitty and those thoughts evaporated. He licked around the bud and pressed with tongue over it, pushing it down and every time he pushed, my legs twitched uncontrollably. I heard the unmistakable sound of pants being unzipped and was well aware that this is the last moment when I could still save myself from the catastrophe that I was about to plunge into.
His lips enveloped my clitty and he started sucking, gently at first and then harder, my legs twitching even more.
I forgot about having to stop him, I enjoyed his tongue and lifted my legs, placing my feet onto his shoulders, completely spreading myself into his face. His sucking intensified and my hands reached under my bikini top, squeezing my own rock hard nipples. All of a sudden, I felt a finger enter a place that has never been entered before and the pain made me jump. He sucked a little harder and pushed the finger deeper.
I was ready to scream and cry. Then, he pulled the finger out, encircled my thighs with his strong arms and started sucking so hard, that I thought I was just about to loose my mind.
Ripples of pleasure were shooting from my clitty to my tummy, over my breasts all the way up my neck, blinding me with the new sensation. All of a sudden, I felt a huge wave of tingling literally explode inside my little bud, I squeezed my pussy tight and the wave swept over my entire body, just like the smaller waves have before, but this one has made me moan out loud, almost scream.
I squeezed my eyes shut and could see the flickering dots dancing in front of me. My body shook and trembled, while Neil continued to suck my clitty.
Finally, he pulled his lips off my clitty, his face split in two by his smile. He leaned away from me and I could see his cock, pointing between my legs. Of course I was inexperienced in what was big and what was not, but to me, his cock looked enormous. I was still dazed from the pleasure that I had just endured and couldn't protest, even though I had every intention to. Neil pushed my ankles over his shoulders so that my knees took their place and positioned his cock on my pussy.
"No, no…" I tried to tell him hurriedly, but he leaned forward and thrust his tongue inside my mouth again. For the first time in my life, I tasted the juices of my pussy. Strangely tarty and yet very sweet. "I'll be quick," he said apologetically and smiled.
"You've got me all crazed." I opened my mouth to protest again, but my mouth remained open in a silent scream as his cock invaded my virgin pussy. I was right, what I thought was enormous before now seemed gigantic. He pushed inside and I felt as if something huge has just ripped me in two. He pushed again and again, and I could literally feel him breaking my hymen. The burning and searing pain left me speechless, I couldn't even scream. Then he finally broke through and buried his entire cock inside me.
"So, tight," he gasped and grabbed my arse, while starting to pump in and out.
Later on, as I was having sex with boyfriends, I learned that the way he fucked me, usually came at the end, hard and furious pounding on the verge of orgasm. I hurt immensely, doubled over, pushing my hands against his chest as if to soften the blows with which he was assaulting my pussy. The previous pleasure of orgasm has completely diminished and all I could feel was his big cock ripping me up.
The pain in my stomach was unbelievable. Blessedly, it took him good ten or fifteen thrusts and then groaned, pushed deeper and slumped down on my body. I lay there for a minute, tears welling up in my eyes. It has taken bare seconds to destroy my romantic dream of losing virginity in the glow of candlelight, in soft bed, with someone that I loved, and more importantly, with someone who loved me.
Finally, he lifted his body off mine, leaned back and I felt his cock slipping out of my aching pussy. He smiled and ran his hand through his hair. "I always knew you were a wild one," he said with an ugly grin.
If I felt turned on before, now, I felt utterly stupid lying in front of him with my legs open wide, my neck killing me from the uncomfortable position, the taste of my own pussy still lingering on my lips. He looked down and I saw his face cringe. "Oh, Sam!" he half-yelled. "You should have told me you're on!" I reached between my legs, brushing the palm of my hand against the wetness.
As I brought it back up I could see traces of blood.
I shook my head. "I'm not on." "No," he said, still refusing to understand. "You should have told me you've got your period." "I don't have my period, you wanker!" I screamed, for the first time letting my lungs push out the air that has been building up since the pain ripped through my body.
He looked at me for a moment, not quite understanding. Then, his eyes grew wider, looking as if they were ready to pop out of his bewildered face.
"Oh my God, Sam!" I nodded. "I tried to tell you," I cried, tears finally slipping down my face. "I tried to tell you," I whispered, covering my face with my hands. "Oh, Sam," he whispered back.
"I'm so sorry, Sam!" he tried to hug me, and I finally found enough strength to push him off, push myself off the couch and head for the bathroom.
I had to pause for a moment, as the pain in my tummy was burning. "No, you're not!" I said, not knowing whether I was angry at him or myself. "Sam!" he yelled. "Neil, please, just go away." I said hysterically.
"Please!" I walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom. I peeled off the remainder of my clothes and entered the shower. I have calmed down somewhat by now, letting the water run over my body, washing away the evil deed.
I heard the front door slam and I knew Neil had finally left. Minutes later, as I was getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to smile. My insides were still hurting, but I have finally achieved what I had been yearning for. Virgin no more! You wicked, wicked thing. Smile turned out to be an ugly frown. Neil never came round again. He met my mum at the pub that night, from what I gathered he picked up a fight with her and they broke up there and then.
She was very upset at first, not understanding what had caused him to fly off the handle for no apparent reason. But, my mum, the survivor, had another young stud pounding her within a month. I never sat on the stairs listening again.